


Hanging Around

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-20
Updated: 2004-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The continuing saga of Josh postHanging On





	Hanging Around

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Hanging Around**

**by:** Beth Green

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna, CJ  
**Category(s):** General  
**Rating:** CHILD  
**Disclaimer:** The new  & inproved v. 4.0.  Any resemblance to persons living or dead in this story is purely coincidental. (Yeah, right!) No animals were harmed in the writing of this fic. However, the same may not be true of the fictional characters. Contents under pressure. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Fat free; the calories, you have to pay for. No preservatives added. Shake well before using. All rights reserved; the lefts, I may consider sharing. May cause drowsiness. Allergy alert: not recommended for those afflicted with insensitivity. Return for refund where applicable. Not labeled for individual sale. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to leap tall buildings in a single bound faster than the human eye can see. Not recommended for children under two years of age. May cause irritability or insomnia with prolonged use. Do not remove under penalty of law. So there.  
**Summary:** The continuing saga of Josh post "Constituency of One" Sequel to "Hanging On"  
**Author's Note:** This follows directly after "Hanging On," although it's not necessary to have read that one prior to this. It takes place in Season Five, after "Constituency of One." Thanks to Nat for the beta work. Any remaining mistakes belong to me.

Josh stood in a corner of his office, flinging paper wads into a wastebasket. He should have been occupied with important White House business; but, thanks to Leo, he was instead engaged in a rousing game of trash can basketball. Tossing the last wadded up sheet at the basket, he managed a direct shot. The scattered litter surrounding the basket testified to previous less successful efforts. 

Josh pumped his arms in the air, making fake cheering noises as he began to jog around the office. "Three points! And the crowd goes wild!" He was interrupted mid-stride by Donna's appearance in his doorway.

"Hi." Donna's eyes widened, taking in the sight of her boss' display of behavior that, while appropriate in a playground setting, certainly was not considered so in the offices of the White House. A smile brightened her face as she tried to decide which of the comments that immediately sprang to mind she should use.

Josh let his arms fall to his side. He felt his face turn red with the heat of shame and quickly tried to school his features, determined not to display any other outward sign of his humiliation. He shook his head. "Wow. That could have been really embarrassing. Good thing you're nobody important."

After years of working with the Deputy Chief of Staff, Donna was well used to Josh's snide remarks. The Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff opened her mouth to offer her own retort, but stopped herself before the words were spoken. It suddenly occurred to Donna that this was the first time since the whole Carrick disaster that she could remember Josh looking anything other than lifeless and depressed. Grateful for the show of Josh-like behavior, she decided to allow him this small victory. However, at least one of them should be focused on business. That task currently fell to Donna. She offered an explanation for her unexpected presence. "I had to come back to my desk to get something for Angela. I was checking to see if you needed my help with saving the world or anything." She smiled, unable to resist adding the in-kind comment. "Obviously you've got the situation under control." Donna's smile disappeared as she watched Josh's fleeting moment of levity vanish as if it had never been.

Josh moved slowly to sit at his desk, the brief spurt of activity seeming to have exhausted his energy. His mouth twisted in a grimace as he responded, "Sure. Everything's under control." Josh rested his chin atop his folded hands, his gaze no longer focused on Donna, but on some distant point over her shoulder. He added, "It's just not under my control."

Worry lines appeared on Donna's face as she began, "Josh..." Her words were cut off when Josh spoke over them.

"I'm fine." Josh figured that Donna was about to launch into one of her lectures on the power of positive thinking. He was not in the mood to hear it. He was well familiar with the theory: 'If you think enthusiastic, you will be enthusiastic.' He just found it difficult to put into practice. Josh waved off Donna's concern. He would have been more convincing if his smile didn't look like it was an attempt to swallow something bitter. He added, "Have fun at your meeting."

Donna returned Josh's fake smile with a worried smile of her own. "Okay. We're almost done for the day. Not that it really matters, but I'll see you soon."

Josh waved Donna out of his office. He contemplated his desktop, staring at the disturbing tidiness that was becoming all too familiar. He had no one to talk to and nothing to do. "Well, this is really depressing." His voice seemed to echo in the empty confines of his personal space. 

Josh pushed away from his desk with a sigh. Sitting here feeling sorry for himself was accomplishing absolutely nothing. He decided to take a walk. Maybe if he got his blood circulating, his brain would start working again. He began to walk the halls of the White House, his steps less jaunty than usual. His solitary preoccupation was interrupted by the appearance of a disgustingly perky CJ. 

She briskly matched his stride. "Josh, are you busy?"

Josh was quiet for a moment, debating whether or not he wanted to continue listening to his inner voice, or if he wanted to take on whatever it was that CJ wanted to give him.

He realized that he was quiet for longer than he'd meant to be as CJ again questioned, "I said, are you busy?"

Josh replied, "I'm always busy. What do you want?"

CJ looked around, checking to see that no one else was within earshot. "I have a message, and I want to give you some advice."

"Is this something I want to hear?"

"Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Could we just, maybe, not do this out in the hallway?"

Josh waved her ahead of him into his office. He closed the door then turned to lean against it, crossing his arms defensively and preparing himself for whatever burden CJ was about to share.

CJ settled herself comfortably in the visitor's chair by the desk. "I'm here on behalf of your assistant."

Josh blinked as he questioned, "Donna?"

"Unless you have another assistant that I don't know about? And, if you do, as Press Secretary I remind you that I should be among the first to know."

Josh shook his head, smiling despite the cloud of depression that currently enveloped him. "CJ, I fail to understand why my having another assistant should be of any concern to you, but assuming that there is a point to all of this, what do you want?"

"Donna asked me to intercede on her behalf. If you wish to keep her on as your assistant, I advise you to take my word as gospel. Donna absolutely cannot work beyond five p.m. this Friday."

"Why couldn't she tell me this herself?" Josh raised a hand, stopping CJ from answering. "No let me guess." His cheeks dimpled as he smirked. "Does she have a hot date?"

"As a matter of fact, she does."

Josh immediately became serious. "In that case, I think that I'd better make sure that she works until midnight."

CJ shook her head. "You see, that, right there? That's why Donna came to me. Any time that she has a date, you make disparaging remarks and ultimately do something to sabotage any possibility that she might have an enjoyable evening."

Josh leapt to his own defense. "I do not! And even if I did, have you seen the parade of gomers she's gone out with?"

CJ answered, "At this point I could respond with something scathingly cutting like 'Pot, meet kettle,' but in the interests of avoiding a battle of wits with an unarmed man, I'll restrain myself."

Josh retorted, "That was both trite and clichéd. Nevertheless, I'm inclined to go along with your request. On one condition."

Knowing she would regret it, CJ stated, "Name it."

"Tell me the name of her date."

CJ shook her head. "No, Josh. You're just asking so that you can have the Secret Service tail them, or so that you can do something equally stupid. Donna specifically said that I was not to tell you. I don't intend to break my promise to her." CJ remained seated, not looking like she was going anywhere soon.

Josh frowned. "So, what's the advice you were going to give me?"

CJ stared at Josh, making sure that she had his complete attention. "Don't screw this up."

"Screw what up? Donna's date with the schmuck of the week?"

"No, Mr. Hasn't Got a Clue. You. And Donna."

Josh shook his head. "Rather than prolong the agony of this conversation any longer than we have to, why don't you explain to me what exactly it is that you're trying to tell me?"

CJ sighed. "I'm not sure it's my place to tell you, but I guess someone has to. You and Donna have subtext."

Still clueless but not willing to admit it, Josh answered, "Ahkay. Subtext. Right." 

CJ gave Josh a minute to puzzle things out, pleased when the dawn of enlightenment washed over his features. 

Josh looked at CJ, his expression not nearly as surprised-looking as he thought it was. "O-oh. You mean me. And Donna. Like, we have a thing. Whoa, you are so on the wrong page you're not even at the right library."

CJ waved a hand dismissively. "Whatever. All I'm trying to say is behave yourself."

Josh snorted. "What do you think I am? Two years old?" He held up a hand in the universal 'stop' sign. "Wait. Don't answer that."

Deciding it was time for a change of subject, Josh again tried to discover the name of Donna's latest abuser-to-be. He paced as he tried to justify his interrogation of CJ. "It would be easier to behave myself if I knew that Donna was going out with someone who doesn't have a criminal record. What's Prince Charming's name?"

CJ shook her head. "You know I can't tell you that. After all, I made a promise, and I am a woman of my word." CJ crossed her arms, waiting for Josh to figure out what she was trying to say.

Josh began to speak, then stopped himself. He could see that CJ was waiting for something. Josh took advantage of the silence to review the conversation they'd just had. CJ seemed to be taking great delight in making him work for every crumb of information. After a moment of reflection, he began. "Okay. You can't tell me the name of the person she's going out with. Can I ask you a question?"

CJ nodded. "Go for it."

"Have I met him?"

CJ nodded.

Josh smiled, halting in his pacing to sit down at his desk. He rubbed his hands together, looking forward to the coming challenge. He began, "Okay. Twenty questions. I can do this. Have I met him recently?"

"Yes."

"In the White House?"

"Yes."

"At the party last Friday?"

"Yes."

"Is it Nat Harper?"

"No."

"Larry Post?"

"No."

"Brian Williams?"

"No."

Josh drummed the fingers of one hand along the edge of his desk. He was becoming increasingly frustrated as he began to run out of possibilities. "Would you tell me if I got it right?"

"Yes."

Damn. Who was left? The drumming fingers tensed to form a closed fist. Josh began rattling off the names of every man he could remember who had attended the party that night, his fisted hand pounding the desktop in annoyed punctuation to each negative response.

"Arthur Chen?"

"No."

"Ibrahim Mohammed?"

"No."

"Ernie Stoutermeyer?"

"Yes."

"Brad... Wait a minute." Josh froze for a moment then thawed just as quickly. He turned an intense gaze on his friend. "Did you just say yes?" 

"Yes."

"Ernie _Stoutermeyer_?"

"Yes."

Josh launched himself out of his desk chair so abruptly that CJ flinched at the suddenness of the action. He began to pace the length of his desk, waving his hands as he spoke. "You have got to be kidding me. This is some kind of joke. Ernie Stoutermeyer?"

CJ frowned, offended on Donna's behalf. "Yes, Ernie Stoutermeyer. Why should you find that so hard to believe?"

Josh snorted. "Come on, CJ. Donna may be hard up, but she's not that hard up."

CJ waved her index finger in admonishment, pointing it at Josh as if she held a weapon. "Ernie Stoutermeyer happens to be absolutely brilliant." CJ paused a moment, as if giving Josh time to consider her words. Actually, CJ needed a minute to come up with some other positive comment regarding the man in question. Personally, she herself found Ernie Stoutermeyer to be obnoxious, unattractive, and, worst of all, boring. However, there was no way that she would give Josh the satisfaction of knowing that she agreed with him in any way, shape, or form. She finally continued, "It doesn't hurt that he has a bank account almost as big as your over-inflated ego, but that's beside the point. He's a nice guy, and I have it on good authority that he is an absolute gentleman."

Josh shook his head. "Gentleman or not, I can't believe that Donna is going out with a guy who looks like a reject from 'Revenge of the Nerds.' On second thought, maybe I can believe it. Donna's dating history bears all the fascination of a train wreck. There's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. And in the aftermath, you know that you shouldn't stand around and watch. It's just that the carnage is so utterly unbelievable that you can't help but sit back and stare at the wreckage."

CJ leaned back, a look of amazement on her face. "Wow. It's no wonder Donna didn't want you to know. Joshua, sometimes you have all the sensitivity of a rock. Whatever your opinion of Ernie Stoutermeyer, I suggest that you keep it to yourself."

****  
Donna stood outside Josh's door, absolutely seething. "A train wreck? Josh Lyman, you're lucky I don't walk in there and give you a piece of my mind. Or maybe a piece of my foot, as I give you the ass-kicking you so richly deserve. If I ever doubted my decision to go out with Ernie, you helped to convince me that I'm doing the right thing. God help you if you try to stand in my way." She ranted to herself.

By the time CJ exited Josh's office, Donna was sitting at her desk busily typing, displaying no evidence that she had overheard any of the conversation.

"Donna, you're back." For some reason Josh found it necessary to comment on the obvious.

Donna spared Josh half a glance as she responded. "Yes, I am. I'm glad to see that your brilliant powers of observation remain intact."

Josh pointed back in the direction of his office. "I've got to go and do this thing."

CJ pointed a slender, damning finger at the Deputy Chief of Staff and gave one last parting command. "Josh. Remember what I said. Be nice."

Josh declared, "I'm always nice."

Donna rolled her eyes. For once in his life, Josh had better heed CJ's words.

Despite his previous claim of needing to get back to work, Josh lingered in the doorway. Once CJ was out of listening distance, Josh casually approached his assistant. He rested a hip against the edge of her desk, invading her personal space. "So, Donna, you need to leave at five o'clock on Friday?"

"Yes."

"And you couldn't tell me this because... ?"

"Because of all of the things I'm sure that CJ shared with you." Her voice was as cold as the winter air. "If you don't mind, I've got to get this finished before four o'clock." She resumed typing, ignoring Josh completely.

Josh's initial thought that both Donna and CJ were making much ado about nothing dissipated as he contemplated the implications of Donna's attitude. He didn't know whether or not this was something that he should add to his ever-increasing list of things to worry about. No, on second thought, he did know. Given the general downward course his life had taken as of late, he knew that this was indeed A Bad Thing. 

He returned to his office, pausing briefly at the door, to watch as Donna's fingers flew across the keyboard. A strand of blond hair floated gently along her cheek as she turned to check a reference. Josh sighed. She deserved so much better than Ernie Stoutermeyer. For that matter, she deserved better than Josh Lyman. He prayed that she would realize the former, and not discover the latter.

  



End file.
